What controls the heart
by Insert a Catchy Penname Here
Summary: Post Episode 11. Because what controls the heart also controls the mind. Even if his heart was iced over so long ago...Now with more chapters
1. On the bullavard of broken dreams

What controls the heart

Pain.

But not just physical pain. It was the kind of pain nobody can describe in words, though many may or may not try. It was emotional pain, like when you lose a loved one.

Joe felt this pain.

He came from an orphanage before he joined the Zangyack. He was alone, and in the Zangyack, he knew he would've died if he'd never met Cid.

Cid.

Sempai.

This kind of pain was tugging heavy on his heart as he strode down the street. Running away isn't usually how you solve things, but if anybody else got hurt like Marvelous did, he was going to break down.

Marvelous.

Now that he thought about it...he was kind of Marvelous' sempai now. Sure, he was _Captain _Marvelous, and Joe was only first mate, but still. Gokai Blue was older, stronger in some ways, a lot more serious, and a disiplined two-sword fighter. He was a fierce warrior, and Gokai Red was the brash and cocky little brother.

But Joe wasn't always like that.

_I used to be a weakling, straight from the orphanage, _he thought, scowling a bit. What could he have possibly been thinking, enlisting to join like that?

Well...he didn't exactly have a choice...

_Flashback _

_He was perched on the top of his bed, of which he had to share with two other younger boys who found it funny to harass him. He found them annoying, bratty, and spoiled, but there wasn't much to do about it. His bedmates were currently playing some cheap game called hopscotch with some girls, so he was, for a moment, in peace. _

_"Listen up!" and suddenly an Action Commander was in there, and he felt a fighting urge well up inside of him. He'd always hated the Zangyack..._

_None the less, he stood up and listened as the Action Commander spoke, "All boys above the age of seventeen will be coming out to one of our camps and doing a test course. If you do well, you live. If you don't...well, you won't be walking out." _

_Joe's eyes widened a bit as his two bedmates ignored everything. He was nineteen..._

_Damn, he had rotten luck. _

_"Joe Gibkin," the Scourmin observing with the Action Commander smirked, "you will be coming with us." _

_The course was grueling, with the fire balls and forced to fight a LOT of Gourmin. And to know he was going into the army... _

_Well, maybe he'd get to have his own bed _

_End Flashback _

That was all he tried to have hope for: To have his own bed. Well, the army was absolute hell. He found himself not wanting to sleep after the first day of 'real' training.

_Another Flashback _

_Phyiscal pain was eating his body alive. _

_He lay there in the cot thing they'd given him to sleep on, which was kind of a big deal, since if you did bad, you slept on the floor. He kind of preferred to floor, since that meant he was being loyal to them. He would never be loyal to Zangyack. _

_But he couldn't get out, or he'd die. Just like if he didn't get in, he'd be murdered. _

_"We got some luck..." an older man mumbled from beside him on the floor, and he had to agree, nodding best he could with an almost broken neck. _

_"I want outta here already," the younger sighed somewhat sadly, actually missing the orphanage, "I'd be better off homeless." _

_"I _was _homeless," the man chuckled, "yeah, it's better than this shit. My name's Cid." _

_"Joe," he replied, and the second they shook hands, the would-be Gokai Blue had a feeling they just might friends. _

_"Oh my God..." the male with a ponytail was in agony as he rolled over to his side the next day, clutching his heavily bleeding wound in his abdomen. He was going to die..._

_"So tell me something, Joe..." Cid was suddenly there, looking him seriously in the eyes, "do you want to live and become a warrior? Or do you want to die and leave?" _

_Joe had to ponder that. He wanted to die, really...but the look in Cid's eyes showed they _could _and _would _get out one day. If they became stronger, they could do it...they really were friends. _

_Their empanthy power spoke they were more like brothers now. _

_"Cid..." he grabbed the outstretched hand that was offered, "sempai..." _

_End 2nd Flashback _

Brothers. They were just as close as he was to Marvelous now, if not closer.

Gokai Blue sat on a bench, filling dizzy from the heat and all of the rememberence of his past. It was grusome...he winced as he remembered the run he'd taken on and the emotional pain.

It was just as bad now as it was then.

_Oh yeah, another flashback _

_'I have to go back...'_

_That was the only thought going through his head. But he kept running. _

_That's not what Cid-sempai would want him to. But it's what _he _wanted him to do. His sempai was probably dead by now, overwhelemed and caught...and he would be next. His hand felt at the eletric tracker collar as he sighed heavilly, sweating out his body weight and then some. He was going to die. _

_But he still wanted to go back. _

_He would always regret he never did, and he knew it. _

_End Flashback...a third time _

Joe rose after another moment.

He had to keep moving, like he did then. He was running away again while his comrades battled and suffered consquences. He may be a fierce and disiplined warrior, but he was human. He was scared, and he was insecure, now more than ever.

_All I'm good at is running away..._he thought bitterly as he walked.

But this time, he had a good reason. He was going to save Cid-sempai. If he didn't...he was going to die.

He wanted to go back just as he did when he ran from the scene of their little uprising. But he couldn't for the same reason. Deep down in his heart that was iced over so long ago, he knew that it was because he had a brother who needed him.

And what controls the heart also controls the mind.


	2. What makes a home

What controls the heart 2

What makes a home?

Now that he was thinking about it, he hadn't ever really known what made a home. If you asked a few different people, you'd get a million different answers thrown right back at you. He wasn't willing to do this to himself, so he thought about things that could make a home.

A family. A typical family consisted of: A dad, a mom, a brother, and sister, and usually the sister was the younger one. Then you would have the cat and the dog, and occasionally the goldfish. He wasn't quite sure why that was what people considered an average family, but whatever the reason, they always thought of the girl having a ponytail and the boy having brown hair. (This is what he'd seen in some pictures, at least.) He didn't know why, but he was still trying to figure out humans in general.

What else made a home?

A house, of course. A typical house (for some odd reason, but he was still going off the pictures he'd seen) had two stories in it, a room for each child and then a room the parents shared. It had a bathroom, living room, kitchen, etc. etc. Things you use to make your house your home, basically.

Cars and money, for another thing. Without that, the parents couldn't work, and without work, there would be no money. Without money you wouldn't have a housee, and that's important in having…well, a _real _home.

_You need money to have a real home…now I'm beginning to think like Luka, _he found a small smirk on his face as he leaned back against the wall that his bed was pushed against, sighing softly as he kept pondering over this.

It was obvious he wasn't getting sleep anytime soon…not after all that had happened to him. He'd come back, of course, and everyone seemed very content on having their first mate/best friend/comrade/Gokai Blue back on board. He touched the bandage around his head gingerly and thought back to the day, what with the Samurai girl and Ci-Barizorg.

Family. He was certain he would have a family, a real one, when he met his sempai in the damned Zangyack's army. And his hopeful line of thinking, (this was always kept inside, of course,) was that if they escaped, they could have a home together. They were brothers at that point….he was always positive it could be done at the time.

But obviously it didn't happen that way, and now he was sitting in bed after he tried to run away, thinking on what made a real home/family, and wondering with quiet, almost childlike curiousness if he would ever really have one.

He suddenly had a flashback from one of his first few nights in the orphanage, when he was just a little guy. He was too young to understand it at the time, but his dad was a man who worked for the Zangyack loyally. His mother didn't like it, and she ended up dying because of it, since she tried to stop him. And thus, little six-year-old Joe ended up in a mini hellhole.

"_BED!" the Orphanage Dad shouted loudly to everyone in a deep, booming voice that scared the little would-be-way-later-down-the-road Gokai Blue half to death. _

_He was already longing for his home, for his mother to tuck him in loosely so he could scramble out of the sheets and crawl in with her when he wanted. She never minded and he knew it, and now he was wishing he could cuddle with her again. He was young, but he knew she was never coming back. The Orphanage Parents made _that _very clear to all of them, making the kids even more homesick and more likely to try and kill those two cruel adults in their sleep. _

_And the little boy now was on the rough canvas mattress, staring at the ceiling. He was sharing the full-sized bed with a couple of older boys who were about thirteen, who didn't seem to really care for him. He slipped out of the sheets with some deal of effort, since they tucked them all in way too tight. (Probably to decrease the chances of running off 0.009% to none.) He quietly padded his way to the big mirror in front of the room, on the little window seat and stretched out through the center. The stars sure looked pretty, and the moon was full…._

_He made a wish on every star that night (or at least he thought) until he finally fell asleep on the window bench. _

He would be punished for that in the morning, but at that time, he hadn't really cared. All he knew was that he wishing for all his tiny worth he would get his wishes granted someday soon, and while they had for a little while, it was ripped away. He wanted a new family if he couldn't get his old one back, and Cid was about as close as he came.

"How did I know you wouldn't be asleep?" and suddenly his captain was in the door, smirking at seeing his best friend clad in warm sleep pants and a white t-shirt but sitting on the edge of the bed in the candlelight.

He now joined the older male, and the two of them sat there in silence. There was no doubt a million and one things were running wildly in their minds, but they didn't bother on talking about it. They were men, after all….and best friends didn't have to say words to know.

"Marvelous…what would you say make a real home?" the first mate finally got the question asked, and the captain looked deep in though for a few moments in life. Things on the Galleon seemed to stop for that small pocket, midget time of life, until he spoke his response.

"Comrades," he replied, standing up and clasping him on the shoulder once before exiting, knowing that his friend would need to think about it for a bit alone.

"Comrades?" he reaped softly to himself, thinking of what the word meant to him…and more importantly, who.

Marvelous. Luka. Hakasae. Ahim. They were his comrades now, and as far as he knew, they wouldn't end up like Sem-Barizrog. Then again, he never would've thought….He blinked a couple of times, thinking the excuse in his head it was nothing, just allergies.

But he wanted to cry more than anything right then and there.

But he wouldn't. He was a master at keeping the hurt inside himself hidden from everyone else, even from Marvelous to some extent. So he dabbed his eyes once or twice and let himself sink into the covers, tucked around him loosely like his mother used to do for him. He stared at the ceiling, feeling too much like a kid again and being fully conscience of how exposed he felt, how weak and how helpless he did to the world at that point.

_Comrades, _the voice from his best friend echoed in his head again, and the first mate rose now suddenly, letting the covers fall back as he made his way to the main room.

Somehow he'd known that the others would all be there.

Ahim…she was like a mother, almost. Calm, level-headed, sweet, caring. She reached a bit shyly, brushing his bangs out of his eyes some as he sat between Hakasae and Marvelous on the couch.

Luka. She was his sidekick, his fellow rebel in the wing. She was like a sister, in a way, to them all. An older who could kick ass, that was. She patted his knee as she pulled a blanket over her and Ahim on the ground, resting between Hakasae and Joe's legs.

Hakasae. He was the whiny little brother, that was for sure. But that was alright…he had dealt with it this long, Besides…the blonde was nice and all, so it was alright with the first mate. He smiled knowingly to him before falling over the side a bit, obviously having been asleep before.

Marvelous….he was…indescribable. He didn't think of him like a father, just a leader and a captain. He was something like that crazy head of the family who you think has lost his marbles but helps the family through some serious trouble almost all of time. Like a powerful, knowing uncle or something.

So what did that make _him_? The dad? Maybe that was most accurate, but he denied that from his inner thoughts. The dad…tch, that was stupid. Why was he even letting himself think thoughts like this?

"Ya' know it's true," he had to smirk at Gokai Red as he drifted off himself, head resting slightly on the top of Gokai Blue's shoulder as he slept heavily.

Yep, they were defiantly best friends.

Another thought entered his mind as sleep neared him finally, probably now that he was with his close comrades. Marvelous had been betrayed by a member of his family too, by Basco. And while the ex- Red Pirate did it by choice, there was no doubt it hurt the current Galleon captain's heart, just like himself with Ci-Barizorg.

But both of them kept going because they knew they'd found a real home with the others at last on the Galleon.

Whatever the Gokaigers were…that was what made a home.


	3. Sisterly love, brotherly adoration

What controls the heart 3

_The four year old little boy giggled loudly as he was flipped upside down, being held off the ground only by his ankles by his big sister. He was trying to tell her she was beautiful, but she kept denying it until she held him like this so he would stop saying it. She was smiling, though, and he had to giggle louder at her small smirk. _

"_You're beautiful, even when you're downside up," he smiled, and she stuck out her tongue maturely. _

"_Then what does that make you? A little fatty?" she teased, poking his belly that was still slightly pudgy with baby fat. _

"_Nu-uh!" he whined, sticking out his belly farther, "cute!" _

"_Yes, your tummy is very cute," she lifted him up, blowing air under his shirt which tickled her baby brother greatly, making him squeal with giggles. _

"_I love you, Cindy," he nestled into her chest, head on her well-developed chest, and she rested her chin on his head. _

"_I love you too, Joey-chan," she cooed, and he didn't protest at feeling like she was treating him like a baby for once. _

Joe found it funny, almost, to have a dream like that. When he woke up from it, it was still dark outside. It was only 1 AM…and since it was obvious it would be a minute before he dropped back off, he went ahead and got up to do a few extra sit-ups. It couldn't hurt…besides, a chubby belly was cute when you were four, not twenty four.

The thoughts of his sister were heavy on his mind as he worked out in a try to tire himself back to slumber. She was with him for a little while when they came to the orphanage, but she was adopted almost instantly. She was beautiful and caring…who wouldn't want her?

He remembered being depressed through ages six-fourteen, then on the brink of it during his time in Zangyzack army.

He had no idea where she was now, and he had no idea why he was thinking of her now. While it stirred up happy memories in his dreams, it also awakened memories that best fit nightmares. Now he was fighting them back off, trying to concentrate on how many he was doing. In his state, it wouldn't hard to overstrain himself. But at the point, he really didn't care. Anything to get his mind off of her…

"Joe-san," and then a small figure was in the doorway, looking a bit flustered at him seeing her in just a soft pink nightgown but also looking greatly concerned, "what is the matter?"

"Sorry if I'm being loud," he mumbled, not pausing his overstraining workout, and she quickly, yet as firmly as she could, grasped his arm, trying to get him to stop.

"You are injured," she bit her lower lip a bit, "you really should not…."

"I have to do some thinking…alone," he got up right, ignoring the searing pain now on his spinal cord as he made his way to the lookout nest.

Earlier that night, he'd been up there thinking of Cid-sempai. What with the guy with many swords, he knew exactly what stirred those memories and feelings. But as far as Cindy…well, who knew?

"Joe-san…" the soft, worried voice spoke again, and he turned to look at her silently. She was behind him, as expected, looking greatly concerned, just like she had earlier.

"Sorry…you got hurt," he looked at the scar on her cheek and her slightly bruised arms, and she quickly tucked one to her side as she touched his back lightly with her free hand.

"It is quite alright," she moved a bit closer to stand at his side, "will you….share what is wrong with me?"

"It's nothing," he turned his face away, and she reached once more, touching a freed tear as it slid out of his eye.

He blinked once as hard as he could, keeping the annoying tears at bay. He couldn't cry in front of _her_…hell, he wouldn't cry in front of _anyone _if he could help it in any shape, form, or fashion. But the feeling of loss was tugging down deep in his soul, trying to make him weaker. But he was stronger than his emotions…that's how he'd made it this far, he was convinced.

But even the toughest mean cry sometimes.

Not in front of her, though. If he was going to be forced to do it by his heart, he was going elsewhere to do so. The ship was 'parked' for the night, so he made his way down easily, the only noise being when his boots hit the pavement. He could feel her eyes on him, full of worry and debating whether or not to go after him as he strode off into the woods.

He went to the spot he'd trained, nearly killing himself in the process. He'd unrigged the ropes and traps already, and he considered putting them back so he could vent. But no, he was in enough to pain to keep his thoughts at bay enough so he could wait until now to let his emotions free.

Now the tears came freely, silently, as he sniffled ever so often, the faces of the ones he loved in his head the entire time.

When morning light was just brushing against the tops of the trees, he found his head not resting on the rough tree trunk. It was against something warm and soft, and it smelled like flowers and tea. He cursed mentally as his eyes fluttered slightly, seeing a ponytail on his shoulder as he felt her small head on his shoulder. She was curled up against that side of his upper torso, and he sighed, but not from frustration.

Contentment was more like it.

And suddenly he knew why the thoughts of his neesan weighed so heavily on him late the previous night…or earlier that morning, rather. It was because Ahim reminded him so much of her: The smile, the gentle fussing over him, the adoration, the sisterly love. He wasn't sure if the former princess loved him as more than a brother, but he _did _know she adored him.

And he adored her.

"Ahim-sama…" he mumbled softly, lifting himself carefully and looking at her sleeping figure for a moment, making a decision.

He scooped her up bridal style and carefully carried her back to the Galleon, finding it cute how her head bobbed ever so slightly…and how she held onto his arm for dear life, even in her sleep.

* * *

Neither of them spoke of that early morning, but they both remembered it. If anything, Gokai Blue felt more at ease now. She was so much like his neesan…how could he miss the original too much?

He was still going to carry the burden of losing anyone he'd ever loved, including his soul brother and his actually, biological family.

But if anything…the small princess had made it easier to live with.


	4. Night in the lookout's nest

What controls the heart 4

He stared out across the ocean with his eyes saddened greatly by the turn of event's that he'd come across with his past that day.

Soul. He would save Cid-sempai's soul, even if he couldn't save..well…_him. _

That should be good enough, right? Well….maybe it should, or maybe it shouldn't. Either way, it just wasn't enough to soothe the massive pain within his heart. Nothing ever would, unless his friend was saved as a whole. And even if he was…he'd still regret not turning back years before.

Man, he was screwed.

The Gokaiger's big thing was dreaming, and he was very content with that. What was wrong with dreaming, even if the dream never came true? Ahim couldn't restore her planet until they defeated all the Zangyack, and while he had some fate they could pull it off, it would certainly take some more time. And he had a feeling Marvelous still hoped he could still be best friends with Basco, for him to have never been betrayed and for Aka Red to still be alive. And yet it was impossible, but they all kept on dreaming their dreams.

Just as he kept dreaming his.

"So…." And suddenly the tomboyish lookout was beside him, leaning against the post with one arm up casually, "seems like you've had a busy day."

"Hai," he left it at that, looking across the Tokyo bay, where they were anchored for now, much the displeasure of quite a few at having an anchor in their beach.

The two of them stood for a moment together, and he had to wonder what her dream was. She claimed that if she told him, it wouldn't come true, but that wasn't really his reasoning for not telling her. But he was getting incredibly curious, and besides…he kind of needed someone to talk to right now.

Even the strongest needed a little love and compassion from their partner.

"If I told you my dream…would you tell me yours?" she already knew somewhat, but it couldn't hurt to ask, could it?

"Who knows?" she replied after a moment, resting her back on the post and propping one ankle on the other, arms folded, "you go first."

"How do I know you won't tell me if I do?" he stated simply, leaning against the post himself and she smirked lightly.

"True…." She mused, then smirked her defeat, "well, my dream is for my little sister to live again. I was an amater when she got sick…I didn't know what I was doing. She didn't make it to the hospital…I want to buy a planet where all the homeless can live and play and be happy together. So nobody ever has to end up like Fia did again."

Her eyes were sad as she told her story, what he didn't already know about her having a dead little sister. He felt sorry for her, relating inside in his heart to losing one he was close to and considered a sibling.

"Your turn," she still kept the smirk on her face, and he had to return the mouth expression. She was always a brave one, no matter what she had to go through, as well as stubborn.

Now he told her about Cid-sempai, anything she didn't already know. He would never admit aloud, (and he had a feeling she felt the same way,) but it felt better just say it. Even if neither of them were the real 'gentle' or 'consoling' type, just knowing someone else knew and cared was enough for both of their burdened souls.

"Suka," she put a hand on his shoulder now, and the two gazed out across the skyline.

He adored Ahim, true enough. But Luka was something different. He wasn't quite sure how he felt for sure about her, but he did know he loved her. Sister or not, he didn't know. But the strong emotional pull he had to her was just getting too strong to ignore.

"Maybe we'll see them again," he shrugged, and she let her hand drop to her hip casually as she began counting shooting stars softly.

"Who knows?" he gave a shrug, but even he saw that hopeful glint in her beautiful brown eyes.

"5," he told her, pointing up with his finger and making her chuckle lightly.

The two ended up back-to-back by the time they found ten stars, arms over their chests, sharing body warmth. He hadn't thought to bring up a coat, but honestly, he didn't mind being pressed to her. He made a mental note that she smelled like strawberries as she turned, heading down the steps.

"Baka," her voice held a teasing note, "you should've brought up your coat."

He leaned against the post with a smile on his face. Something about her presence made him forget about his troubles with his former sempai, which made him more relaxed. Maybe it was because she knew what kind of pain he was feeling, and her slightly arrogant, sarcastic attitude humored him. She was something else….

Once she'd handed him his coat, he casually brushed her hand, which caused them to exchange a smile. Maybe she liked him in a romantic way and maybe she didn't.

Either way, they stayed in the lookout's nest until the sun started to rise, talking like only true friends could do, and him forgetting the reason he came up in the first place.


	5. I say I'm fine, but you two know I'm not

Warning 5

_Ow. _

As soon as he woke up, that was the first thought that entered the first mate's mind. His muscles whined and moaned their protest all across his back, and he lifted his head weakly.

_Marvelous. _

That was the second thought. This made him forget the pain his back for just a moment as he stumbled to his feet, instantly regretting it when his back protested loudly. He grunted lightly and stumbled forward, but managed to stay on his feet.

_Where are they? _

He started running. It didn't matter if his back was bruising or that the wind was still knocked out of him. He was going to find them at any cost.

_Marvelous...you better be alive or I'll kill you..._

* * *

He smirked lightly after his captain. Leave it to Marvelous to talk about food just after they almost all died...again.

Now he sat on his sit-up contraption, staring straight ahead that night. He sighed softly, brushing his long bangs out of his eyes. It was time for is nightly 500 sit-ups, but on this night, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. His back was aching far too much, and he was suddenly curious as to what kind of shape it was in.

As he strode into the bathroom, Gai caught his eye for a brief second. It was odd to the redhead...Joe was pretty much the only one who was not concerning himself with tending to his body wounds. Sure, he had the wrap on his head, but that was pretty much it. The others had much worse effects...like a deep wound of Marvelous' lower back, or a big bruise under Ahim's ribs.

As for himself, he had a small gash on the back of his head and a almost twisted wrist...there must be something else wrong with the first mate.

* * *

The male with a ponytail groaned as he stared at his back. No _wonder _it was so sore...bruises were splotched all across his back that were purple and black, and the bigger ones were on the lower part as well as near his shoulders.

_Damn, I have rotten luck, _he cursed out loud a couple of times as he started trying to pull his shirt back on, and that's when the unlocked door opened up.

"Joe-san!"

* * *

He was _not _amused as he was laid carefully on the couch, the others quickly gathering around him as Gai pulled off his shirt completely. Everyone gasped in unison at seeing the damage done from when he'd landed, and he instantly started trying to rise without wincing too much.

"I'm fine..." he mumbled lowly, but a couple of sets of hands ensured he wasn't going anywhere.

"No you're not," Luka punched him in the shoulder, which, if it wasn't lightly bruised as well, wouldn't have fazed him normally, "ah mou! Sorry..."

"I said I'm fine," he grumbled weakly as Hakasae scrambled to get some medical supplies for his poor friend as Gai fetched an ice pack to his lower back, making him groan softly in protest once more.

"I know it's hurts...but really, this is for the better..." he spread the ice out inside the pack so it almost covered one ugly, large bruise completley.

"Joe-san..." Ahim took his hand, trying to offer some comfort, her own nursing of her wound forgotten by her but certainly not her protective older sister figure, who was currently pressing a different ice pack to the wound as well as wrapping the gash in her own leg.

"You idiot...why'd you wait so long to tell us?" the brunette was obviously worried for her partner, though, by the way she kept her eyes on him.

"You all don't have to worry about me..." he hissed softly as the blonde started rubbing some cream on his back in order to sooth some of pain, "and you don't have to rub so hard."

"Sorry..." the slightly younger bit his lower, trying to rub as gently as possible but making it still work.

"We do have to worry about you," the Captain pointed out as he casually bit an apple, "you're pretty beat up, in case you haven't noticed."

Finally, the first mate accepted they weren't going to leave him alone and settled for biting the bullet through the pain...or rather, his tongue.

* * *

_That freakin' hurt..._he thought darkly as he sat in his own quarters that night, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the door, like it could relief him of his pain, both physical and emotional.

_At least...I saved his soul, _he consoled himself weakly as he laid on his stomach, side of his face resting on the pillow as a tear trickled out of one eye.

"Joe-san,"

The second the door open his switched which cheek was rested on the pillow, closing his eyes and pretending like he was sleeping. He heart a soft 'oh', then attempted soft footfall as something was set on his bedside table. Another came him, and by the way the footfall was clumsier and louder, he knew it had to be Gokai Green. Something else was placed on the bedside dresser, and he felt his shirt be lifted a bit.

"He seems to be getting a little better..." his voice whispered, confirming his thoughts, "but I can' t tell you how it feels, so..."

"Well, that's something, I guess," the first who came was, as expected Gai, "poor Joe-san."

"He does this to himself all the time..." the blonde sighed, and the bed squeaked softly as he rose again, "I wish he would let us help more."

"Well, he's stronger than us..." Gai's voice was getting more distant, so he knew they were leaving, "so he can handle more."

"Still...it can't help to ask for help _sometimes_," the blonde pointed out, and if they said anymore, he didn't hear it, considering they'd left his room.

* * *

He'd actually fallen asleep after they'd left, so when he heard voices over him, he figured it was morning. But instead he met surprised brown eyes, two sets of them, against a still dark room. A glance at the window confirmed it was still night, and the first mate sighed a bit through the haze of sleep.

"What time is it?" he grumbled, and Hakasae glanced at his watch.

"Um...two in the morning," he smiled sheepishly and nervously, and the first mate rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to get up for three more hours at least...

But first...

"Why are you two in here?"

"We were going to see if you'd eaten anything," Gai explained softly, motioning for the items on the bedside stand, "you didn't eat a lot for diner tonight, so we..."

"...thought that I was going to eat at 2 AM in the morning?" he snipped out more harshly that intended, and both of them instantly flinched.

"Well...we were just trying to help," the redhead looked down now, and Gokai Blue sat up with a small amount of effort, leaning against the wall so he could sit up.

"I know," he reached over and found the first item to be a bowl, and by the smell, it was whatever type of soup they'd cooked earlier, complete with spoon.

The second item was a glass of water, and he sighed softly. It was a nice thought that he acknowledged, but still. He just didn't have an appiteite after what happened with Cid/Barizorg. No matter what anyone said, even if Cid's spirit himself had told him...nothing changed the fact he'd pretty much killed his best friend and sempai.

"What happened earlier?" Hakasae's soft, caring voice brought him back from his thoughts for just a moment.

"I settled some business," was all his said, "well...thanks for the soup."

* * *

When the two had left again after checking the wounds on his back, (he didn't protest this time, since it was obvious it wasn't going to get him anywhere,) he stared at the soup like he had done to the door, like it was going to solve anything. But when he finally started eating it slowly, he found it at least warmed him up a bit. Once he'd finished the meal and decided sleep was no longer an option, he placed it carefully in the sink and began his usual morning push-ups.

"Is settling some business really all that happened?" he was too surprised at this point when the blonde and redhead once again came in.

"Why do you two keep stalking me?" he snipped shortly, and the two best friends looked at his each other for just a moment.

"Well...you're our friend, Joe-san. And that's what friends do," Gai pointed out, sitting on the couch closest to the troubled first mate.

"Please tell us," Hakasae finished softly, and the older stood suddenly, actually getting fed up with their concern.

"I said I was fine. Leave it at that," if he didn't know they'd just follow him, he would've strode away at that note. But now the blonde put his hand on the taller male's shoulder, gripping it tightly, and surprisingly enough, just that simple action calmed down his flaring temper considerably.

"If you don't want to tell us...that's okay too, I suppose," but neither of them were good at hiding their hurt on their faces like the older was, "demo...if you talk to someone about it, it might help."

"It won't," he insisted, but finally decided to go ahead and say it so he might could get some sleep, "but...you two know about sempai. I had to finally kill Barizorg, and while I know I at least saved Cid-sempai's soul, it...it's still bothering me."

Not only did that actually make his chest feel a little less tight, it also made tears start to prick at his eyes. He fought them when once hard blink, but that only seemed to encourage them to come out more.

What the two best friends did next surprised him so much, his tears froze in mid-push out his eyes.

* * *

Both of them knew, honestly. What it was like to need to talk, but to only be heard. They didn't understand what he was going through entirely, but they knew him well enough at this point to know he didn't really like words of comfort or lies, like 'Things will be like they used to be' or 'You'll forget it at some point'. It wasn't true, so why bother with them?

So they left him be.

* * *

The first mate found himself waking up on the couch of the main room...and he was the last to wake, rather than the first.

Luka was admiring her jewelry as usual, and Ahim was making tea beside her. Hakasae was on the main computer as Gai worked on his encyclopidia of Super Sentai knowledge, and Marvelous was asleep. Even so, the captain was the first to notice him being awake.

"'Bout time," he smirked, "I ate your breakfast, by the way."

That didn't surprise him, but Gokai Blue did have to smile just a bit at his best friend. That was just like Marvelous...tch.

He found the grief in his chest bearable once again. He was relieved to find only a couple of tearstains on his cheeks...maybe nobody had noticed. Even so, when he met the gazes of the two male best friends on the ship, he gave them both nods, making them smile.

Yeah, he was grateful to have those two along...

* * *

_Cid-sempai..._he thought as he started on his morning workout, _if you're still listening...know I will not give up on my comrades or on myself. I know...they will help me through like you. _

_Mina-san..._he actually smiled to them all now, _...arigatou._


	6. We all have our reasons

What controls the heart 6

"159...160..." Joe mumured as he did his sit-ups, his back finally healed quite a bit, even with his new scars and still-healing battle wounds from the grand war against the Zangyack.

And now they were going to the Zangyack home planet. Oh, joy.

But it wasn't like he was going to protest. After all, even since Marvelous saved his life all those years ago, it was only natural for him to follow him wherever he went. He actually didn't mind much; he hated them all with everything he had, so of course he'd keep fighting to prevent them from crushing more dreams.

But he was kind of tired...

* * *

"What's up with you?"

Joe jumped a little bit when his younger brother figure came up behind him as he stood in the crows nest that night, Smirking lightly at the older's surprise, he put his hand on his shoulder and came to stand beside him.

"Just thinking about Earth," he shrugged off the other's hand, crossing his arms casually over his chest and standing back on his heels a little.

"Why? I thought you didn't like it most of the time," the younger smirked lightly, doing the same to be in the same casual position at the same time as his best friend.

The other just kept a light smirk on his face, "Well, it's not like I hated it."

"Same," the younger nodded once, smirking a little wider, "then why don't you want to go to the Zangyack home world?"

He grunted once lightly, "I'm tired, I guess."

"Tired?" Gokai Red grinned lightly, "don't tell me that you're getting lazy on me."

"Nah," he laughed a little bit at that.

But that wasn't quite the reason...

_Marvelous is a pirate because he is an adventurer, _he thought as the two stood together, lost in their own thoughts, plans, and forming new dreams, _good reason. _

* * *

"Joe-san, are you excited for this new adventure?"

He smiled lightly at her question, sitting back on his chair a bit, "Well...I'll say it's going to be interesting."

He caught his captain's eye as the small princess smiled again, sipping her tea happily and contently as looked over to the side a little bit, obviously thinking of the future, "I must admit...this is much more eventful than my old life as a princess."

Now he was quite interested, "Oh?"

"Yes, I know, it is quite a embarrassing thing to admit," a light pinkness crept onto her cheeks, "when I was a princess, it was a bit dull. I loved all of my people and I am aware they loved me, but it was boring. This is much more filling of my poteintal, and I am excited about this new journey."

"I see."

_Being a pirate meant a real life to Ahim, _he thought as he made a mental note of this, _good reason._

* * *

"Whoa!" Hakasae yelped as he tripped over his own shoelaces, falling forward and wincing at the split-second thought of his the steaming chicken in the skillet would feel on his face.

"Whoa is right," and suddenly he was caught, the billowing steam still hitting his face full-force but with the hand now on his chest, keeping the face off of his skin, "careful."

"Arigatou, Joe," he balanced himself shakily, relief evident on his face.

"Hai," he nodded once, shrugging to show him that it was no big deal, "what are we having tonight?"

"Chicken tortias," the blonde replied, "hey...Joe...are you nervous about going to the Zangyack home planet?"

He shrugged again, "Not really. Are you?" Although he already knew the answer...

"Yeah, a little..." he sighed and looked at his feet, looking a bit shameful and embarrassed about it, "I mean...I really want to be a tough fighter, like you and Luka-san. Demo...it's still hard."

"Then why are you a pirate?" he asked the question calmly enough, even though Marvelous, he knew, had decided for him.

"Well...because of Marvelous, and...I look up to you three," he confessed, blushing once again, deeper this time, "you are all strong and can fend for yourselves. I want to be able to do it, too."

_Hakasae's a pirate because he wants to be stronger..._the older with a ponytail nodded once and went on to begin his one-ups, _good reason. _

* * *

"Ha!" Luka grunted lightly as she strained her sword against the skilled first mate, lunging back and slashing at his stomach, only nicking his stomach but recovering from the weak offense quickly as he lowered down his defenses slightly for her level.

"You're getting good," even so, he managed to disarm her with his own offense, "so...any reason you're hanging around?"

She shrugged, "The money reward, I suppose."

"From what universe ruler?" he was a bit confused, but covered it up with light sarcasim and small smirk.

"None...but the Zangyack can't rise up again like that," she was being completely serious now, and his face matched her solem one, "children like me became orphaned because of them. None of that...ever again."

He nodded, thinking back to his older sister and the foster center before replying, "I see. You're a good person, you know that, right?"

"Yes," she smirked, and he chuckled at his other best friend.

_Luka's a pirate because she truly cares..._he thought as they went into Round Two of training, _good reason._

* * *

"There!" Gai crowed happily, "now it is offically complete!" He proudly held up his Super Sentai Encylopedia, causing Gokai Blue to raise his eyebrow a little bit from where he was eating with the others.

"Come eat your food before Marvelous eats it for you," he said, making Gokai Red roll his eyes as he stole a piece of chicken from what was once Gai's plate.

"Sorry, mina-san," he rushed over to gaurd the rest of his food from his captain, "I am just _so _excited about going to end the Zangyack!"

"It's going to be dangerous," Luka said blunty, probably hoping the shut the excitable redhead up for a few moments.

"It's fine; I can handle it!" but it had the opposite effect, as proven when the Earthling jumped ontop of his chair and did a dramtic spin, "I'm Goooookaaaaiiii...Silver!"

"Sit down," Marvelous mumbled through a mouthful of corn cob, and the newest addition to the crew finally obeyed.

_Gai's a pirate so he can finish off the Zangyack..._Joe thought as he continued eating, _good reason. _

* * *

He knew his crewmates/frends reasons for being pirates.

He knew had a good idea of what his was, but at the same time...he didn't.

Following Marvelous was obvious for reasons he and the others knew. However, what about when the Zangyack were dead and gone? What would happen after that? What would his reasons be then?

"So, you couldn't sleep either?"

He smirked lightly as Gokai Yellow stood beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Help me count stars, will ya?"

"This sounds like a lovely idea," Ahim was on his other side, and he had to smile at her, the butterflies in his chest that came instantly when he saw her staring a frenzy.

"Yeah!" Hakasae piped up behind him with Gai, and he heard a short chuckle in unison with his own.

And as all six crew members squished their way onto the crows nest, ("We can fit," ~Marvelous,) counting stars and dreaming in sync a same dream that always be their owns and the ones they all shared, he figured it out. He was a pirate because of his captain, to free the universe completely...

They were all deeper than friends; they were family.

Nothing is stronger than family, he knew know.

The Galleon was his home, and he was always going to play a postive role in their lives, even when he didn't. He loved them all in each different way, (such as gender and role in his own life,) but he cared, none the less. He was thinking all of these things now as he pointed out Star 5, smirking lightly when Marvelous mumured how he was a show off.

And what controls the mind also controls the heart.


End file.
